Packing for beginners: Meet Mr. Limpy.

If you’d told me a year ago that I would be posting a picture of myself in my pants on the internet, I would have asked you for a toke on whatever the fuck you'd been smoking.

Alas, life is bonkers.

Mr. Limpy Medium, and his (slightly) smaller brother.

I think the first time I’d ever contemplated packing as a thing I might do was after watching one of Chase Ross’ product review videos.

And as much as it amused me to see a brother swing around a bunch of silicon dicks like a weaponised modern-day Joan of Arc, it stayed with me for a long time on a much more subtle level.

(BTW if you have not seen Chase’s product review videos they are both entertaining and extremely informative, I will link their YouTube channel below).

It was something that had never crossed my mind before. At this point in my transition I am still 100% sure that I do not want bottom surgery. It is not something I feel will make me feel anymore valid or happier as a person. And I much prefer to sit to pee. In a cubicle. Once I’ve sanitized the seat.

I guess I thought if I tried it and didn’t like it, then at least I would know.

So, I contacted Fleshlight mentioning I wanted to do a review of one of their products, the Mr Limpy, which Chase had so fabulously propelled across my laptop screen.

Within a few days a rather vanilla-looking box appeared at my door.

Because we all know when someone has ordered goodies from somewhere like Love Honey, don’t we? No? Just me?

The discreet nature of the delivery was very much appreciated. Currently living at home, I was keen not to have to explain myself. So far, thumbs up.

I hadn’t specified what size I wanted to try out, and they hadn’t asked, so my first pointer for any packing virgins out there would be to check the measurements online, and then literally measure them out. Trust me on this one. It is not easy to see from the online pictures what size you’ll be dealing with, so like, I don’t know, replicate the length somehow to literally see.

TIP: As a starter I would almost absolutely have gone for the XS. And at the cost it doesn’t break the bank to order two different sizes to try.

To my surprise, I had been sent a small and a medium. I have yet to open the medium. Clearly the website’s definition of small and my own are a good few centimetres apart.

FYI: XS = 4 inches, S= 6 inches, M= 7 inches, L= 8 inches

Now, I’m no connoisseur, so I cannot comment on the ‘life-likeness’ of the wobbly shafts that I stared (rather wide-eyed) at in my lap at this point. For me, the Mr Limpy is a just the right amount of ‘I am a prosthetic penis-that is all, thank you and goodnight’ and nowhere near ‘I am a cheap and potentially toxic packing dildo made by a child in a developing country who sneaks the faulty ones home to play pirates with their siblings’ (this was a legitimate concern). So, yeh. I would say good quality for your buck for sure.

One thing I did immediately notice was the weightiness. Although this could mostly be down to my avoidance of the gym of late. Okay, ever. But whatever.

I don’t wear tight boxers or jeans, so my concern was the likelihood of said product travelling down my jean leg to chill around my ankle.

I also wasn’t sure if the feel of something synthetic down there would awaken a heightened bottom dysphoria for me, something I don’t often get.

I decided I didn’t like the feel of it on my skin. And I didn’t want to run the risk of kicking the thing out the bottom of my trouser leg should I need to run for the bus.

But I did really want to venture out with my new friend, so (thanks again to Chase) used a simple solution.

Step 1. Put Mr Limpy in a sock

Step 2. Position yourself

Step 3. Fold the opening of the sock over your underwear waistband and secure with safety pin.

So I've taken a few pictures with Mr. Small. The blue shorts are less supportive than the grey, so you can see the difference that your underwear has on the size of your bulge.

In terms of my experience of packing in public so far, I guess I am still indifferent. Having something there that’s never been there before meant I probably spent the first few hours looking like I’d recently contracted something. It felt more than a little abnormal.

But you know what, on days where the rest of my dysphoria isn’t too bad, and I pass more as male (and I want to), it is weirdly euphoric. I can’t put my finger on why. That wasn’t supposed to be a joke BTW.

I honestly didn’t think that a bulge in my pants would make me feel any better about myself.

And I don’t think that’s what it is. I think it’s the action I’ve taken. It’s the agency over my body. It’s me trying new things to find where I fit in the world and how I want to be perceived. That in itself is empowering. And products like Mr Limpy allow you to do this.

For Trans or GNC people that are thinking about trying it I would say ABSOLUTELY TRY IT. I can see how it could most definitely alleviate gender dysphoria for those considering bottom surgery, or those whose identify as male and wish their presentation to reflect that as such. The product is good-REALLY good, and inexpensive for first timers.

And it you don’t like it, maybe you could start a new YouTube trend-replace the cucumber in ‘Cats vs Cucumbers’.

If that shit goes viral, you’re welcome.

https://www.youtube.com/user/uppercaseCHASE1/featured

https://www.fleshlight.eu/collections/mr-limpy